Here I am once again... totally in a confused state of mind as to what priority I should give to different things in my life at this point of time. My health, my job or my family.
I am standing at that junction of life, where I see 3 paths. One leads to my career, lookout for a new job etc, second one leads to my health, as i have to urgently reduce some 10-12Kg of my body weight, as I am over weight now ( I like to blame it on my hypothyroidism and diabetes, but I know it not just that). Controlling diet and doing exercises are just what it takes, but.. you know... And the third one leads to my family, adding a member to our family. My daughter is 3 yrs old now, n I myself am 29, so i feel its not a good thing to postpone it - thinking about this also needs the path 2, cos I cant go ahead without reducing my weight...
Sigh! Doesn't seem to be a big task here, or confusing this right? But, it is, for me. I have been working from home for the past 4 yrs, which made me out of touch with many technologies in the field I work (but i do know many technologies, which others hardly know about). But I am not confident in giving interviews :| which makes me sound like a tensed school going kid, who is scared about exams. But believe me, this is not a good feeling. Having 8.5 yrs experience in what I do, and still not confident enough for an interview.
I've been praying a lot these days, cos I am not able to understand what i should do first... will continue doing that till i get answers...
God, hear me and answer me please...
So, like I wrote earlier, I was more into Twitter for the last year or so. Met a lot of people there, both men & women. Some turned out to be too good, while some, made me angry n desperate. But I am glad that I was able to meet them. Made me realize who I really am, and what people think about me, and what I want for myself...
I realized that - I am happy, I will be happy, cos I deserve to be happy - cos I am the best, and I will be the best... come what may... I kept on telling myself this, and I realized that i was becoming more and more happy...
Talking about the people I met in Twitter, I met some people, who had created a group in Twitter names AMIT - Association of Malayalam Idivettu Tweeters - they wrote hilarious Malayalam tweets. Their tweets never failed to make me laugh. Got a few good/close friends too from AMIT, though one of them created lot of unwanted scenes later on, leading to many people going against him - that's another story.
I found an extended family there in twitter - lil brothers and sisters and friends... most of those I met there were younger to me. I got a nickname 'Amoontamma' meaning Ammu's mother - Ammu being my daughter.
It was fun altogether, but later I realized that it was taking up too much of my time - my work was getting affected - i was kind of addicted. Anyways, I have taken a break as of now. I am still in touch with those friends through chat or calls... that's life.. when you realize that you are left alone, God gives you many more to give you company! :)
So, here I am. Back into the blogging world. Yes, this time, its really for real! :) Trust me!
I got too busy tweeting, ( Twitter is a micro blogging site too), so i thought its easier to micro blog my thoughts than actually blogging those. Actually, i got lazy to blog, when i can easily micro blog!
And Yesterday, I quit Twitter. And I feel really happy that I did. Cos it was eating up a lot of my time n energy. It was draining me out emotionally too, cos i was getting attached to people I met there. But now, My mins feels free. I do have good friends from there, with whom i can keep in touch through calls & chat or emails.
So, I hope I'll be here more often. I want to write a lot, write about lots of things, lots of positive things cos I am tired of being negative n being sad all these years.. God has blessed me a lot, n its high time i accept it and let people know, n try to make a difference in their lives too!
All the best to myself! and to those who read these!
Its been about 6 months since i blogged anything... its not that i didn't have anything to blog about... its just that i thought its better not to blog... just didn't feel like blogging... I took more time in twitter n kept expressing my thoughts there... but then, it became different.. i realized that i shouldn't put down anything and everything there... only positive thoughts should be transmitted in such an open medium...
Anyways, life has been good for me for the past 6 months... I am enjoying everything.. my family, my friends, even myself.. and I am thankful to God about that... more blogs to come.. will keep posting as n when i feel like...
Re posting an old blog of mine, from the days when i used to blog regularly in Yahoo 360
Here I am... finally.....
ആദ്യമായി മലയാളത്തില് ഒരു ബ്ലോഗ് എഴുതാം എന്ന് വിചാരിച്ചു... ഇതിനു മുന്നേ അങ്ങനെ ഒരു ചിന്ത വന്നിട്ടില്ല. എന്തായാലും കൊള്ളാം...പക്ഷെ, എനിക്ക് മലയാളത്തേക്കാള്, എന്നെ തന്നെ എക്സ്പ്രസ് ചെയ്യാന് പറ്റുന്നത് ഇംഗ്ലീഷ് ഭാഷയില് ആണെന്നാണ് എനിക്ക് തോന്നുന്നത്..
Its my best friends birthday today... 'National Holiday' as he used to term it... N I hope n pray n wish him the very best.. May God give him all the happiness in the world... and keep him always happy n satisfied - knowing too well, that I am not a part of his life anymore...
My school days are something that i never want to remember... i have never felt nostalgic thinking of those days. It would be more correct, if i say that i never think of my school days. There were a very few teacher whom i liked, n i was a pet for some teachers, otherwise, i dont think anyone ever liked me at school,except for the very very few close friends i had.
And for unknown reasons, i used to have so mnay fans, there were many guys after me, but i used to wonder, are these guys mad, cos what do they see in me to even say tht they like me.. anyways, there was this guy, whom i like, can say a 'crush', but when i think of now, i dont remember why or how i liked him! Had a talk with him on FB after, may b 12 yrs y'day, n it was totally fun! I came to know that he knew i liked him, someone told him that, but he was after another girl... i just couldnt stop laughing the whole time during our chat... n the thing that made me laugh most was when he said, that he didnt realise things then n so he missed me !!!! I still remember, how i used to sneek into his classroom just to get a glance of him, how i used to blush when my close friends used to make fun of me saying his name... how i used to go till the gate of his house when i used to visit a friend of mine n run back scared.... told him all these n he was like - Oh My God! i really missed you! ha ha....
Its so easy to tell things like that.... dont know what was in his mind when he told me those, he must have been serious, or may b said all those in a light way... All i told him was, say the things you have to say when its needed... do things that u have to do, then a time like this would never come, when u realise that, if you had done those, things would have been different...
Its a problem with all of us... we always tend to keep things for later... if we love someone, tell them that, if you care for someone, show it to them, dont keep it in your mind, cos you never know what you are going to miss... even if its your parents, your partner, you children, your friends... take time to show them your love... take time to tell them that you love them... n make life more beautiful!
Guess whats new in my life now? I'm talking... talking to real strangers, people who i hardly know... some i met here, blogging.. some i met in twitter... I was someone who had decided that i wont make friends online anymore... cos over the past 7-8 yrs, i have made enough friends online... some didnt work out, cos either they turned out to be frauds or they were people who came in with hidden intentions in their mind... some worked out well, n i got many close friends, very very dear to me, not forgetting to mention that I met my life partner too online...
So, now, i have a few friends i got online very recently, who r becoming close 2 my heart - some share the same thoughts n feelings as me, some have the same aspirations as me, some have the same profession as me... but whoever it may be, I pray to God, to keep them happy always. May their lives be filled with happiness, n when they get stuck on life's road, God, show them your light, n guide them...
Thank you my friends, for being there for me always, understanding my deepest thoughts n fears, n still, standing by my side...
I'm sitting here alone up in my room
And thinking about the times that we've been through (oh my love)
I'm looking at a picture in my hand
Trying my best to understand
I really want to know what we did wrong
With a love that felt so strong
If only you were here tonight
I know that we could make it right
[CHORUS:]
I don't know how to live without your love
I was born to make you happy
'Cause you're the only one within my heart
I was born to make you happy
Always and forever you and me
That's the way our life should be
I don't know how to live without your love
I was born to make you happy
I know I've been a fool since you've been gone
I'd better give it up and carry on (oh my love)
'Cause living in a dream of you and me
Is not the way my life should be
I don't want to cry a tear for you
So forgive me if I do
If only you were here tonight
I know that we could make it right
[Repeat CHORUS]
I'd do anything, I'd give you my world
I'd wait forever, to be your girl
Just call out my name, and I will be there
Just to show you how much I care
[Repeat CHORUS]
Bumped into this song by Britney Spears from somewhere... though this is song between 2 lovers, i was just thinking... arent we all born to make someone or the other happy?
And are we doing that? Think about it! and when you find an answer, correct yourself!
